btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
