She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
