What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
