what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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