Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
