I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
no you cant smoke seaweed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize