There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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