i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
