you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
