So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
