He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
