What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
