Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
