can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
