Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
