So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
