I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
