apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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