He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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