the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
