Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
