some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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