He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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