I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
