my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
