he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
