Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
