He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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