So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
