Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
