He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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