My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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