There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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