I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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