Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
