what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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