the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
