So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
