Where did you get a picture of my penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize