I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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