Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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