Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
did i walk over a car last night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
