Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
