Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how my cats smell like pot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
