Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
