I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
