At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
