I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
