She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
