thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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