So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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