It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
