After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
