thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
