I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
