How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My life is pants optional.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
