my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
false alarm, still single
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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