rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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